DEAR COACH CHRIS | CROSSROADS

I am proud to work with BPM Lab, who offer a unique holistic health and fitness experience, coaching you to physical and mental strength. As their resident Life Coach, each week throughout August I answer a member’s question and this week Carol asked:

Dear Coach Chris,

I have always lacked direction, and have struggled to find a path, I have reached the age of 60 and reached a crossroad and don’t know which path to take. Any suggestions please?

Carol.

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Hi Carol, thanks for your questions and congratulations for proactively seeking to commit to a direction for your life. Your question is one often posed by my clients and I am confident it will help your fellow fitness focused friends at BPM Lab.

I’d like to start first by offering some advice on finding direction in life, which can sometimes overwhelm us and lead us to feel quite simply like our computer, with too many tabs open. I’m sure you’ve had that feeling of working on too many items at once and not seeming to complete anything either in the time you wanted or to the standard you usually deliver.

Equally you may feel like life is going well, you have all the elements you think you’re supposed to have, like the partner, the children, the house, the car and the other trappings that society uses to define success. But something just isn’t quite right and you can’t put your finger on it, you can’t seem to locate the right tab.

Reviewing all aspects of your life and honestly evaluating them supports you in gaining a greater understanding of where you should be focusing your energy. Defining the areas of your life you are happy with is very rewarding, allowing you to take your foot of the pedal and coast for a little bit as you move your concentration to the areas of your life that you may have inadvertently neglected.

In life we are always going to need to juggle and in today’s recommended activity we’re going to work out which balls are in the air and which are in hand. Simply complete the activity below, to gain more perspective on where you are and where you want to be.

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Now you know what you want from life and have the direction you desire and deserve let’s focus on what to do when you reach a crossroad in our life and are faced with having to pick between one road and another. Here are three tips to have you confidently making decisions in no time.

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Document the rewards and challenges. List all the rewards and challenges for each of the options you have available. This can help you to have a clear picture of what each options means to you. When completing this activity be sure to focus on only writing down information that is ‘known’. That means you can’t include things that could or may happen, only list things that you know for certain.

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Face your fears. In order to deal with any fears you have simply take each option and answer the following three questions:

  • What could go wrong?
  • What would I do if that happened?
  • How could I get back to where I was before?

This gives you more information about the options available to you and remember knowledge is key! A big thank you to Matt, one of my private clients who taught me this tool last week!

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Make a decision and commit to no regrets! Many years ago I learnt a great lesson from a book called ‘hannah’s gift’ in which a family have to deal with the final year of their daughter’s life. The inspirational book shares many profound lessons on truth, joy, faith, compassion and wonder. A key learning is the rule of making a decision based on all the information available at the time you make the decision, followed by a firm commitment to have no regrets. This is key, as once you make a decision new information and experiences will always become available and it’s unfair on yourself to judge a previous decision based on information which wasn’t available at the time.

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I hope the Wheel of Life and these top tips on decision making have you choosing the right path and enjoying your journey on it.

Until next we speak… be more tomorrow than you are today.

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